You are who you are.

Every time I come to the mountains, I find something I wrote the last time I was in the mountains. I have a few notebooks that travel with me to quiet places, but I can never remember which has the most empty pages. So I end up searching through old thoughts for blank lines to write new ones.

Anyway, I am in the mountains. This notebook is red and spiral-bound. It is mostly full of half-written letters to beached friends, but this is one I wrote to myself. It most interesting because I had started to lose myself and now, probably around a year later, I feel.....not that. It's hard to say that I have lost shooting stars when the reason I am in the mountains is to watch a meteor shower. You are who you are, even if you lose it for a little while.

I am happy now. In love and happy.


Every notebook leads to buried treasure.





So you sit down at your desk, and you're wearing your glasses. You didn't know that you needed those, and you wonder how many shooting stars you've missed.

And then you realize that you haven't looked at the sky since you moved to the city.

Erin's voice sounded good tonight with tree frogs in the background. It's the first familiar thing in months. You should be there, dressed in tan lines and mosquito bites with bleach stains on your best dress.

You're in your room. On a townhouse near a corner you know to be a trading post for certain unmentionable merchandise. You have walls with white panel curtains. They are not made out of sheets. And a space heater.

You stay busy. You don't have time to miss anything, and you don't have the energy to feel much. You say that you love boots, but you love bare feet more and you wonder why moving on seemed so much like the right thing.

It was the right thing. You weren't happy there anymore until the very end, when it was too late. And that might be why you felt happier. Panic happy.

This city excites you, but don't get trapped. Don't stay forever. Do not get wrapped up in the lights and the life and forget the girl with wild eyes who looked at the sky and swam in the sea at night.